Marching Into The Unknown

You’ve Got Mail is one of my favorite movies. Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan are a powerhouse duo exchanging witty banter wrapped in an Affair To Remember esk story. At least once each year, I beg Hannah to let me dig it out and throw it in the ol’ DVD player. Every time, is almost like the first time all over again. Isn’t it that way with our favorites? No matter how many times we’ve seen them, we never get tired of them. As I sat down to write this morning, it popped into my mind. Scene after scene, line after line. In fact, I’m replaying the scene about the Godfather in my head as I type. Greatness!   

As I sat here replaying it in my head, another scene came to mind. Less funny, more serious, yet something I find immensely helpful in this season of life. Midway through the film, Meg Ryan and a character named Birdie have lunch. Meg Ryan’s character has just made the decision to close her charming little bookstore. In the exchange, Birdie issues a series of lines that have stuck with me. They hit me each and every year.

“You are daring to imagine,” Birdie says, “that you could have a different life. Oh, I know it doesn't feel like that. You feel like a big fat failure now. But you're not. You are marching into the unknown armed with...Nothing. Have a sandwich.”

Everything about those lines is lovely. Meg Ryan’s character is feeling low because the business her mother built and left to her, is closing. In the midst of this deep pain, Birdie reminds her of the immense bravery it takes to face the unknown, to do the thing you find particularly hard and difficult.

I feel Hannah and I are marching into the unknown ourselves. In just a few short days, our first son will arrive. Talk about a life changer. Our whole world is about to be upended, in a good way. While we’ve done everything we can think of to prepare, there remains a great deal we are unaware of.

I’m freaking out inside. There are so many questions swirling around in my head, that it hurts. How little sleep is in my future? How will that stress impact our marriage? Do we have enough diapers? Is there anything I’m forgetting? Do we have everything we need for the nursery? Will I drop him? Will we be good parents? What will this new adventure bring into our lives? So many questions, so little answers.

How do you prepare for unknown situations, when you’re freaked out and haven’t a clue what to expect? I’ve thought about that question and a hundred like it. They’ve kept me up at night, and haunted my dreams. They’ve followed me around and lived with me for months on end. Today, I’d like to share with you the result, and how we are preparing to face the unknown once more.

The truth is, this isn’t the first time we’ve “marched into the unknown” and it certainly won’t be the last. We’ve walked this path before, and so have you. Facing situations, events and circumstances you aren’t entirely sure of, is as common as it gets. You don’t know the future, and as a result everything comes with a side of doubt and uncertainty.

Your level of uncertainty changes minute by minute, day by day. While uncertain of every aspect of most situations, you have a reasonable expectation for how it will go. You’ve had similar experiences before and have formed some idea of what most things on your calendar will look like. Other events however, throw massive amounts of uncertainty your way. The more that stands to change in your life, the more unknowns you have to be stressed over. Whether something big or small, the uncertainty is headed your way.

Abide with Christ

Don’t allow uncertainty and stress to threaten your world, and hold you captive. The surest way I know to throw off the heavy yoke the things of this world attempt to lay upon me is to look to Jesus. “Come to me,” Jesus said, “all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly of heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Abiding with Christ is the only path to peace in this life, and joy everlasting. One mark of walking with Him is peace in the midst of chaos. You have no need to worry, because you know who’s in control. There is never a moment in your life, during which the Lord wants you to worry. To worry is sin. It communicates your concern that God might get things wrong and that if you just had control things would turn out alright. How often does this pattern play out? How many of the things you’ve prayed the Lord would spare you from, are the very things that ended up shaping who you are the most?

Abiding with Christ involves spending time with His word and doing what it says. Abiding and obedience are inextricably linked, so what does God’s word tell us to do, with our anxiety and fear?   

Pray

“Don’t be anxious in anything,” Paul said, “but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Worry, anxiety and stress are heavy burdens you just don’t have to carry. Cast them off and let Christ deal with it. What keeps us up and costs us sleep, makes Him laugh. He is not worried and He has it under control. Lay your burdens down at the feet of Jesus in prayer because He cares for you. While the burden may be too much for you to bear, it’s not too much for Him. Let Him carry it.

Prayer is a powerful tool God has given you to fight the stress and anxiety uncertainty sends your way. Lay it all out there. "Tell God all that is in your heart,” Francois Fenelon said, “as one unloads one's heart, its pleasures and its pains, to a dear friend. Tell Him your troubles, that He may comfort you; tell Him your joys, that He may sober them; tell Him your longings, that He may purify them; tell Him your dislikes, that He may help you to conquer them; talk to Him of your temptations, that He may shield you from them; show Him the wounds of your heart, that He may heal them; lay bare your indifference to good, your depraved tastes for evil, your instability. Tell Him how self-love makes you unjust to others, how vanity tempts you to be insincere, how pride disguises you to yourself as to others."

God can do something about what’s troubling you and He wants to. What you have in Him is a loving father. Loving fathers are concerned with what’s keeping their kids up at night and want to alleviate their burdens. The Lord is no different. Put it all out there in very real, and raw terms. He loves you and wants to hear what’s on your heart.  

Focus On Truth

“The most important battle you will ever fight,” Todd Wagner said, “is the battle for your mind and the most important weapon in this fight is truth.” Your mind is flooded with a million different thoughts each day, and not all of them are good, helpful or even true. What you do with each of those thoughts will determine everything.

You have to train yourself to think rightly in all circumstances by constantly reminding yourself of what’s true. You facedown what you don’t know by focusing on what you do. You may not know exactly what the future holds, but you can know who holds it. Fix your gaze on Him.

Consistent time in God’s word is the only way this happens. There’s just no way around it. No matter how many times you hear it, daily time in the Bible is the lifeblood of the Christian life. It offers practical and helpful instruction for every aspect of life, especially when staring down anxiety, but most importantly the Bible connects you with the author of life Himself.  

“Finally, brothers,” Paul said, “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” Releasing your anxiety is only half the battle, you have to embrace truth in its place. Focus on what is true, honorable, pure and more. This is how you transform your mind, so that you know how to respond rightly no matter what comes your way.

Seek The Wisdom of Others

“The physical presence,” Bonhoeffer said, “of other Christians is a source of incomparable joy and strength to the believer.” The Lord has been incredibly kind to you in that He has made you a part of the body of Christ. Within the body are countless men and women who have walked your steps before. What is uncertain to you, may not be to someone else. Ask good questions, seek counsel and wisdom, and avail yourself to the wisdom of others.  

The input and experience of your fellow believers can help alleviate a great deal of stress. Their insights can be huge. Go find someone who's walked the path you’re headed down. Regardless what the road ahead looks like, you can face it. Lock arms with other believers and wade into ambivalent seas ready to tackle what comes together. Remember that we is stronger than me. You don’t have to go it alone.

3 Things Every Healthy Marriage Talks About

My wife Hannah and I are a great team. We run our own business together, serve together at our church, and split most household chores evenly. We are truly better together. Something about the way our personalities, gifts and talents weave together forms something stronger, and more capable than either of us individually.

We are constantly communicating with each other over any number of things; shoots we’re working on, client meetings that need to be scheduled and every little detail that needs following up on to run a successful business. It takes a lot of time, and good communication patterns to pull it off.

If we aren’t careful however, the business could quickly become all we talk about morning, noon, and night. Much like parents have to remain vigilant to talk about things other than their kids, small business owners have to fight the temptation to make life revolve around the business. Far too many sacrifice relationships, personal health and family at the altar of a success. They lose themselves in their work, and talk shop around the clock. It takes a lot of work, patience and solid communication patterns to build a business while fighting for a good marriage.          

I recently sat down with Hannah to talk about it all. Communication plays such a pivotal role in the health and strength of all our relationships, especially marriage. I wanted to better understand exactly what our communication patterns are, and get her take on what we do that helps us maintain balance. I also wanted to hear exactly where we need to improve.  

photo credit: katie june Photography

The major theme of our conversation was that communication was as vital to the health of our marriage as water is to the body—it’s a must. “One of the biggest reasons relationships don’t succeed,” Hannah said, “is the lack of communication.” Failing to communicate about any number of things creates not just tension but division. It allows two people to live in separate worlds, doing there own thing. “It is vital,” Hannah continued, “that husband and wife communicate on a daily basis, not just staying on the surface, but what’s on their hearts, minds, worries, fears, future goals and dreams.” Discussing the weather, and the score of the game isn’t enough—you’ve got to dive deeper. Talk about everything going on in your world—what’s got you worried or excited, what’s driving you crazy, and what you’re looking forward to.      

“I think this is something,” Hannah said, “we do really well now, but haven’t always.” We make time each week to have deeper, heart-level conversations, but we haven’t always. Early in our marriage, I worked long hours, and spent most of my day driving to and from the office. Each night I’d work on our business—doing the books, client meetings, etc.—and on the weekends we’d shoot a wedding. Our schedule never stopped, it was always go, go, go, and I thought we were communicating well enough.

Most of our conversations revolved around work, and our business—we had little time to talk about other things. At least, that’s what I thought. In reality, I wasn’t being intentional or creating time for deeper conversations by asking good questions. I was on cruise control. Fast forward a few years, and we’ve landed on a pretty good rhythm. “I enjoy,” Hannah shared, “that we go on at least one walk a day with our pups and just have that ½ hour of quality talk time.” It doesn’t have to be long, but finding time to talk about deeper things breaths life into your marriage. We use this time to talk about everything. When asked what she found most helpful and exciting about them, Hannah mentioned “Future goals, where we are in our business, finances, how we can serve each other each week, fears, excitements about having a baby.”  

Conversation #1: Money 

Everyone has a different story and history regarding finances. Some have handled things extremely well and others haven’t. Either way, finances are one of the handful of topics you can’t avoid talking about. The stakes are too high. One little mistake can land everyone in trouble. That’s why Hannah and I take a look at our budget every week. “This is an awesome way,” Hannah said, “for us to know what our week will look like. Date night out or in? Where are we doing great and where can we do better? I am thankful for a husband who is organized and always on top of our finances, even when I am not.”

Every Monday, I sit down and update our budget. At some point that day, I’ll share how we are doing with Hannah. We talk about what areas are on track, and what areas we need to keep an eye on. “Don’t be afraid,” Hannah said, “of these conversations. Lean into them, learn from past mistakes and have weekly chats to keep short accounts. Being a team means being honest and open especially in the tough conversations.” We’ve found that talking about finances on a regular basis, keeps us on the same page, and avoids that big blow up fight about being way over budget.  

Conversation #2: Calendar

Early each week, Hannah and I sit down to go over what’s on the calendar for the coming week. “It helps us know,” Hannah said, “what’s going on in the other person’s world and how we can serve and pray for one another. It allows us to always be on the same page and align expectations.” Our weekly schedule conversations give us each insight into how we can care for the other. If I know Hannah has a ton of photo shoots in the coming week, I’ll know that it would serve her well for me to take care of the dog stuff and have dinner started before she gets home. If she has important meetings or just a full schedule, I’ll know how I can be praying for her. Talk about your schedules, sync your calendars, and discuss what you’ve got going on.  

Conversation #3: Expectations

While finances and schedules might be once a week conversations, we have a series of ongoing talks throughout the week about expectations. These are some of the most important one to two minute discussions we have each day.  “We all have expectations,” Hannah explains, “about what our day will look like whether we know it or not.” Everyone has an expectation about everything. “It can be as simple,” Hannah continued, “as asking what each other’s expectation is for dinner one night.” Expectations don’t have to be these big, ambiguous things. It’s usually the little one’s that cause the biggest trouble. “Simply talking about what you expect,” Hannah said “reduces the likelihood of frustration.” You may find that you had differing expectations about certain things, that if left uncommunicated could lead to conflict. Get those things out on the table, in a casual manner so you can get on the same page. Develop the habit of regularly asking one another what your expectations are.  

How are we doing?

I asked Hannah how she would grade our communication. “An 8.” Hannah said, “We could always do better.” That’s a point worth discussing—there’s always room for improvement. No matter how hard you work, or how much time you’ve been together, you can do better. None of us will ever reach the mountaintop on this one, but that shouldn’t stop you from trying. Go for a walk, curl up on the couch with a blanket and some soft music playing or have a private dinner just the two of you. Talk about all the things going on in your world, share your hopes and fears. Hopefully there will be areas you can celebrate. “We do great, Hannah shares, “discussing future goals, business plans and day to day expectations.” Relish those victories. Inevitably there will also be stuff to work on. “We could continue,” Hannah said, “working on taking the next step in talking about how we are doing relationally and spiritually.”

Don’t get down when things like this pop up. Lean in and work on them. In the end, be excited that you’re working together and heading in a new and better direction.  

Cade's Cluttered Desk

Cade sat alone on the porch sipping his coffee as light crept over the horizon. The branches of nearby trees swayed to and fro as a gentle breeze swept past. It was the dawn of a new day and a chill was in the air. Cade began each day in a similar fashion. It was his routine, and he was if anything a creature of habit.

He woke at 5am on the dot, made a pot of coffee and sat on the front porch reading his bible. As soon as the sun came up, he would refill his coffee cup for the second time and go for a walk. Cade would take at least two walks each day, morning and evening. When the mood hit him just right, he’d even mix in a short afternoon walk after lunch. It was his special time to be alone with his thoughts.  

He kept a small notebook tucked into his back pocket, just in case inspiration struck—and it usually did. Cade’s desk was littered with notes and thoughts that hit him while lost in the wilds of nature. One day he would be mulling over some problem of life and the next enthralled with the wonders of creation. His notes were just as scattered in subject as they were in position.

He didn’t know what to do with this ever growing assortment of words. He had too much of an emotional attachment to discard them, and yet little clue how to put them to use. Every day when he returned from his walk, he’d place his new notes on top of the desk, or in a drawer and turn his attention to other things. The result was a tangled mess of observations, thoughts and ideas gathering dust on an old man’s desk.

One day, the phone rang. It was his buddy Scott who like Cade, had an ever mounting collection of little notes. Scott didn’t know what to do with his anymore than Cade did, but that morning genius had hit him. “What if?” How many lives have turned on that little phrase. Two magic words, soaked with power. The power to change destinations and rewrite destinies. When Cade heard the phrase, his heart leapt. It was the opportunity he’d been waiting for and now it had arrived.

The next morning Cade sat down at his desk, after his first walk of the day, and began to organize the scattered bits of paper covering its top. Soon he found himself pulling out his typewriter and pounding out new ones. He did this day after day, for months on end. Just when his wife would think he was done, he’d refill his cup, and return to the keyboard. His fingers danced across the keys with the precision and ease of a concert pianist as he composed page after page until at last he was finished with his task.

What had been percolating in his heart for years on end, came pouring out and he loved it. He had found an outlet and taken the first step forward. He had something to say, and it didn’t matter if anyone else ever saw it. He needed to do the work. For far too long, Cade had ignored the gentle nudge prodding him from within. “Write,” it whispered in his ear. He’d ignored that voice for year after year until, at long last it got his attention.   

One More Way We're Improving Our Marriage This Year

Photo credit: Kendall Hanna Photography

On New Year's Day and Hannah and I sat gulping down coffee and sugar before a long wedding day. We shared our goals and dreams for the year, and quickly turned to things we wanted to improve about our marriage. I shared those five things on my friend Scott’s blog last month and encourage you to go check it out. As the year has progressed, Hannah and I have continued to have conversations about other areas we want to improve as a couple. I'd like to share one of the most important with you today.    

Scripture Memory

“When Scripture is stored in your mind,” Whitney said, “ it is available for the Holy Spirit to bring to your attention when you need it most.” Hannah and I have been convicted by our Bible memory, or lack of it to be more honest. We each have a list of verses we are working on, but we have failed to memorize God’s Word as a couple. There have been times and seasons where we would work on verses together, but rare and mixed have been the results.

We are giving ourselves to Scripture memory a new this year. It’s our only chance at living rightly by the renewal of our minds and our best weapon for fighting temptation. We put together the following list of verses by creating a group in Scripture Typer.

We’ll add to these verses throughout the year, but are committed to hiding these lines in our hearts. Proverbs 15:1 will come to mind when we are in the middle of a fight, and help us calm our tone. Mark 10:45 will remind me to get my butt up off the couch and serve my wife. Proverbs 28:13 will encourage us not to play the hiding game, but to be open with each other and community about what’s going on. We need these verses for our daily fight with sin and temptation. If we aren’t focused on the truths of God’s Word we’ll drift driven by another’s current upon a shore we don’t wish to see.

3 Things You Need To Remember When The Stuff Hits The Fan

“Holy crap!” “I can’t believe this is happening.” “What the heck is going on?” These are but a few of the multi layered and multi colored things that come out of our mouths when trouble strikes. Sometimes it comes our way because of the decisions of others, but other times it results from the poor decisions we’ve made.     

Things are going to come up, and stuff will go wrong. You’re going to do and say things that hurt both you and other people. Whether it’s drugs, alcohol, pornography, lying, cheating, hiding things, or theft you could be party to some dark stuff. Don’t let it destroy you. From time to time, people ask what to do when that happens. Today, I’d like to share with you three things to remember when those things bubble to the surface.   

1. God’s love for you isn’t contingent upon your behavior or works.

While obedience is important, it doesn’t impact your standing before God—what you do with Jesus does. “Who,” Jesus asked, “do you say that I am?” It was the most important question He asked His disciples, and it remains the most important question any of us have to deal with in the passage of our lives. What you do with Jesus determines everything else. I know that when life gets messy and I’ve screwed things up, truth is my deepest need. To be reminded exactly what Jesus has done for me is more precious than gold. If you are in Christ, Jesus has done it all.

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith."  - Romans 3:23-25a

He did the heavy lifting we simply couldn’t do. Jesus’ life, death, burial, resurrection and ascension completed all that was necessary for us to be made right with Him. Our biggest problems—Satan, Sin and Death—have been dealt with. Let that sink in for a moment. For the believer in Christ, there is no longer condemnation (Romans 8:1), sin no longer holds us captive (Romans 6:1-14), and we will never be departed from our Lord (Romans 8:35, 38). Your behavior—sinful though it may be—can no more separate you from the love of God in Christ for you, than it could save you in the first place. “For by grace,” Paul said in Ephesians 2:8-9, “you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no man may boast.”

When life gets hard and I find myself dropping the ball, my temptation is to look inwardly—to focus on where I’m failing. When I turn my gaze upon myself, I quickly lose assurance and begin to question and doubt my very salvation. And therein we find the danger of turning our gaze upon ourselves. You and I were never meant to transfix our eyes upon our own navels. No, we were called to fix our eyes on Jesus. “Glimpses into the dark room of the heart alone,” Thomas Chalmers said, “give no good prospect.” Chalmers is right. Looking inward only leads to darker and darker places. “...take help from the windows.” Chalmers said, “Open the shutters and admit the sun. So if you wish to look well inwardly, look well out. . . . This is the very way to quicken it. Throw widely open the portals of faith and in this, every light will be admitted into the chambers of experience. The true way to facilitate self-examination is to look believingly outwardly.”

When you are in trouble and the mess of life is at your door, resist the urge to focus on yourself, or the problem at hand. Instead, look to Christ. Fix your gaze upon Him. The mess won’t go away and you’ll still have to deal with it, but you’ll be doing so with your mind and heart rightly focused. To say it another way, you’ll be dealing with things from a gospel or Jesus first mentality, not a behavior / problem first mentality. It makes all the difference in the world.

2 . Isolation kills.

When things get tough your natural tendency will be to withdraw. Maybe you feel that no one wants to listen, or that your problems make you damaged goods. Whatever the reason, isolation is the worst choice you could make. Despite what you tell yourself, those closest to you love you, care about you, and want to help you. “No man” John Donne said, “is an island. Entire of itself.” At no other time in your life could this sentiment ring more true, than when stuff gets messy. So reject fear, pick up the phone and invite those closest to you into the mess and pain.

Many churches call these types of deep, life on life relationships home groups, life groups, or community groups. Regardless of the name you choose to give it, there are several things you should expect from it. The foundation of any relationship is trust. Without it you’ve got nothing. It’s the glue that holds human relationships together. You have to be able to trust the other person to handle your stuff properly. That doesn’t mean they have to keep everything you say confidential. That may sound strange and counterproductive, but it's not. Sometimes you’ll share things that require them to widen the circle and bring others into the conversation. Trusting the other people in your life, means you believe they have your best interest at heart, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

You can expect your community to listen to all your hurts, struggles, and screw ups. You should be able to truly open up and let them into every part of your world. They not only want to hear about everything going on in your life, they need to. If there are areas that are off limits for you guys to talk about, it’s going to be difficult for them to serve the role they are called to serve in your life, and vice versa. Your community is going to ask you good questions, and many of them you're not going to want to answer. Resist that urge, and do it anyway. They’ll do it because they genuinely love and care for you, and want to understand.

As they listen, you can expect them to affirm you in the areas you are doing well. Things may be a mess and it feels like, “you just can’t do anything right” but nothing could farther from the truth. Even in the midst of your deepest and darkest seasons, where everything may have come unraveled and you feel like “nothing good dwells in you”, there is always some area of your life to be affirmed. Maybe it’s your honesty, willingness to open up and invite others in, or perhaps it’s the loving way in which you receive the counsel of others. Whatever it is, there is always something to celebrate. Not only should you expect community to celebrate small victories but you should expect them to build you up in your identity in Christ. The most powerful weapon we have in our battle with Sin & Satan, is truth. Your group can be expected to regularly remind you of what is true by pointing you to God’s word, and recalling to your mind who you are in Christ.

Community should point you to truth and give counsel that is grounded in the Bible. As they do so, they will say many things you don’t want to hear. Resist the urge to bail or seek out those who only tell you what you want to hear. If what they’re saying is biblical, you need to listen. This is where the rubber meets the road in community. Far too many people get offended, hurt and consequently withdraw all together because their community group either asked hard questions of them, or said hard truths for them to hear. When inevitably that moment comes, lean in, ask good questions and above all listen.

When you bring things to the table, you can expect your group to lovingly lean in, remind you of truth and help you map a way back to health. In every situation that road map is going to look differently but it will contain some of the same elements, such as daily time in God’s word, sharing what you’re learning, and keeping community in the loop.

Regardless of how things are going, they’re going to check in with you regularly to hold you accountable. Accountability has gotten a bad rap over the last several years. Just simply hearing the word causes some to recoil or sends their blood pressure through the roof. I get it. I’ve been there and can attest that whatever picture of accountability that causes those images to come to mind, is not what we’re talking about here. The type of ‘accountability’ you need is not the kind that makes you feel beat down but the kind that makes you feel loved and encouraged. Expect your group to check in, ask good questions and point you in the right direction. His people are one of the most important gifts the Lord has given us. Allow them to be and do for you all the Lord intends.

3. This too shall pass.

You’re walking through some pretty heavy stuff and it hurts like crazy. That kind of emotional pain and turmoil plays tricks on the mind. Better yet, that devil on your left shoulder lies to you. He will tell you a million different things that aren’t true, but one of the biggest lies he’ll tell you is that there is no hope, and that your life is over. Both lies trade on the idea that whatever trial you’re in is permanent, with no end in sight. While it may appear to be, your situation is only temporary. It will change. These seasons of trial come and go like the changing of the tide. They will no doubt leave a mark, hopefully for the better, but they will pass. This is going to be especially hard to believe when you're in the thick of it. It is going to feel like there is no way out. Like whatever troublesome circumstances, or hardships you’re experiencing are the new normal. They’re not. The pain will subside and troubles dissipate, but you’ll still be standing in the end.

Hopefully, you’ll be a better man/women for it. That is after all a major component of why you walk through times like this, the development of your character. “Count it all joy, my brothers” James said, “when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” James just upped the ante far beyond what any of us are probably comfortable with by calling us to be joyful for our hardships. But isn’t that exactly what all of us are when we reach the other side of our hurts. We may not enjoy it in the moment, but we usually look back with thankfulness at that which formerly brought is so much anguish. Is that not because all the hurt, all the pain, and all the craziness of it all produced in you a change. That’s what James was getting at. Be thankful for your sufferings, they just might be some of the greatest blessings you’ll ever receive.

I want you to do something for me. Pull out a notecard or a blank sheet of paper, and write down all of the good things you are thankful for. Start with the best experiences in your life. Maybe the job you have, the spouse you married, the awesome conversation you had with the guy at the coffee shop. Just write it all down.

Now flip that card or sheet of paper over. On the other side of the page, write all of your worst experiences. All the painful, difficult and agonizing periods of your life. The time you lost your job, maybe you walked through the pain of losing a child or any other of a million things.

Now take a look at both lists, and ask yourself how many of the things on the front side are direct or indirect results of some of the things that happened on the back. My guess is that more than one of the best things to have happened in your life, is related to one of the worst. How often do we pray for the Lord to relieve the pressure and remove us from our trials? I know I do. Pain isn’t fun in the moment, but often its result are worth it. “If God answered,” Randy Alcorn said, “all our prayers to be delivered from evil and suffering, then He would be delivering us from Christlikeness. But Christlikeness is something to long for, not to be delivered from.”

Things are going to go wrong in life. That you already know. The next time it knocks at your door, pull this post out and remind yourself of God’s love for you, the gift He’s given you in His people and the purpose behind the pain. I pray that you will struggle well and allow your next fiery trial to make you look a little more like Jesus.