Setting Sights

I set aside time each year not only for review of the previous 365 days but to plan for the next. It’s a great time to take stock of all that’s going on and to make adjustments for moving forward.

While my life goals have remained largely the same for the last ten plus years of doing this, I pursue them differently each year.

Chasing down big goals is a lot like driving on a long road trip. Your car turns north, then south; it drifts left, then right; it starts and stops.

It’s not a smooth process and neither is life. There are ups and downs. You stray from the path more than you’d like and reach the end of each year closer to some goals than others. Annual reviews are a great time to do this important task. (You can read my 2018 Year in Review here.)

I’ve set a few goals for 2019 in light of my annual review. I’ve listed five of them below.

1. Weekly Date Night with my bride. Few things are as important as loving my bride well. We won’t be the parents we need to be to our son without a strong relationship. We have to intentionally work on it and make it a priority. Strong relationships, especially with your spouse, don’t happen by accident. That’s why I’m setting the goal to have a date each week. Date Night is one of those things important enough prioritize and plan other things around.

2. Increase monthly giving by 5%. Our money isn’t ours. It’s given to us for a purpose, and that purpose is to glorify God. It’s His money. My wife and I want to improve at stewarding God’s money this year. Intentionally setting goals for increasing our giving is one change we’re making.

3. Memorize Romans 8. I have a poor history with Scripture memory. I do well at times and poorly at others. This year I’m working to memorize one chapter of Scripture. I want to memorize the great verses such as v.1, 16, 18, 26, 28-30, 33 within their proper context. Not as disconnected verses I could easily misuse. No matter the other verses I memorize this year, I want to hit this goal.

4. Meal Plan. I shared how this area is a struggle for me in my annual review. What to eat is the hardest decision I make each day. I have to do something about this in 2019. Enter the idea of meal planning. Each week I will cook some items in bulk to always have on hand for when hunger strikes.

5. Compete. I am chasing down several fitness goals this year and want to continue to push myself. Few things motivate and push me like competition. Training for a competition should bring many areas of my life into focus such as eating habits, and daily workouts. I am also hoping this will help my wife and I grow relationally as I am working to convince her to jump in with me!

Winging it rarely works. Life requires a destination. You can’t hit the targets you never set your sights on.

Where are you setting your sights this year? Where will you change? Where will you grow? How will you get there?

Drinking The CrossFit Kool-Aid

Say the word CrossFit in any room and you’ll receive a wide array of reactions. Some positive and others less so. For one reason or another CrossFit is a controversial topic. Everyone has a strong opinion on the matter, and freely shares it.

I am no different. I have very strong thoughts about CrossFit. The one thing that makes me only different on the subject is that my opinions have changed.

Once upon a time, I judged CrossFit from afar and made assumptions based on what I thought it was all about. Whether those impressions were true or misguided I did not know. All I knew was that I didn’t believe it would help me achieve my fitness goals.

I wasn’t unfamiliar with the barbell lifts. In fact, my training routine has always held these lifts as its foundation. I wasn’t new to the concept of hard work, or anything about the individual workouts themselves.

My issues stemmed from a lack of knowledge and experience with CrossFit itself. For all the years I’d worked out and trained my body, I hadn’t set my pride aside and allowed it a fair shake.

That along with my reservations about the program came crashing down late last year. I dropped my guard, set pride aside, and took the plunge. After years of watching and observing it from afar, I was now in the inside.

Day by day a difficult and painful reality began to sink in: I was wrong. Boy that stings! Few things in life are so painful as having to admit you’re not right. That you don’t know everything. That no matter how well-intentioned and careful you are, you don’t have it all together. To come to terms with thinking and believing things so contrary to your former self.

But it’s freeing. It frees you up to embrace and chase after a whole new life. To set new goals. Build new relationships. And reminds you that not all you think is gold.

At long last, I am now a CrossFit believer. It shows me where I’m weak, where to push harder, and that going it alone isn’t a good idea.

Drinking the CrossFit Kool-Aid taught me many things and reminded me of several lessons easily forgotten. To have uncomfortable conversations. To walk into difficult rooms, filled with real people who disagree with you. To draw as near as you can. That nearness won’t be the death of you.

Regardless of if your opinion shifts or not, it could be the beginning of a whole new you. A more well informed and relationally enriched you. One who isn’t fearful of opposing views or the people who hold them. Someone who is always ready to think, talk, and admit when they’re wrong.

Habits

Habits and routines are popular right now. There is a growing interest in developing the right ones in hopes that they will spell success in our lives. We want to become high achievers, power movers, and to have all the trappings that go with the label successful. In this pursuit, we look around and model our lives after those who already have the moniker we covet. We read books by authors doing the same and commit to making changes to our daily lives.

And it works. At least on some level, we find that there is a collection of habits and routines that increase our output and changes how we interact with the world. They make us more productive, help us find clarity in our work, and even make us feel better. In short, the right collection of habits can work miracles in your life and mine.

That’s it though. We need the right collection of habits because not all habits are equal. Some are better than others. A few lead to the change we seek, while the rest clutter our lives with activity.

You don’t need ineffective work added to your day. You need life and energy injected into it. So what will infuse these much-needed qualities into your day? What can you do each morning to set yourself up for a successful day?

The truth is that transforming your day involves a whole list of things you’ve heard before.

1. Get up early

2. Spend time in God’s Word and prayer

3. Plan your day

4. Work out

5. Read good books

Sound familiar? Sure it does. You already know what to do. Doing it is hard because we make excuses.

I spent the better part of a year rebuilding these habits because I got off track. While I can give valid reasons for each failure, that’s exactly what they were-failures. Failures to get up at the right time. Failures to spend intentional time in God’s Word and prayer. Failures to plan out the day. Failures to steward my body well by getting in the gym. Failures to feed my mind the nourishment it needs

Peace, certainty, and productivity follow as a matter of course when I nail these habits. You don’t need a long sermon on why you need these things in your life, but here is a quick rundown of how they help me.

Getting up early. Start the day with a win. Build will power. Practice saying no to the flesh and yes to the Spirit. Gives you a quiet time to do important things.

Time in God’s Word & Prayer. Focuses the mind. Gives perspective. Shapes how you see the world. Sets up how you will respond to the day’s trouble. Time with the only One who can handle every issue or problem that comes your way. Refined character.

Plan your day. Dictate what you’ll do. Proactive, not reactive. Clarifies priorities.

Work out. Healthier body and mind. Strengthen will power. Increase mental performance. Less stress.

Read Books. Increased knowledge. Learning mindset. Reinforces humility because you don’t know everything. New ideas. New habits. Refined thinking.

Chances are you’re already doing a number of these things. Chances are also good that there’s some room for improvement. So identify that area. Focus on it. Ask others for help. Do whatever you must, because we aren’t talking about success in the business world, but in all of life. That means being a better parent, spouse, and friend. It also means growing into the mature believer in Christ you want to be.

A rising tide lifts all boats. So raise the tide of your life, by improving at a few key habits. Habits that infuse your life with more energy, focus, and fun.

Monthly Mash Up (January 2019)

I published my first two blog posts in a while earlier this week and will be sharing things learned and discovered during my absence. Below is one of my favorite reoccurring posts on the blog. It’s called Monthly Mash Up and serves as a collection of quotes, books, articles and audio impacting me each month.

I do this the last week of each month. It’s my way of peeling back the layers and sharing the things that have the greatest impact on me each month. I hope these resources are helpful and brighten your day. If you enjoy it, pass it along to family, friends and the occasional stranger.

Quote I’m Chewing On

"There is no growth without change, there is no change without loss, and there is no loss without pain. If you are going to grow, you will have to change, and change means you let go of some old things and grab hold of some new things." -Rick Warren, You Can't Change by Accident

What I’m Reading

1. Come Let Us Adore Him by Paul Tripp
2. Money, Possessions and Eternity by Randy Alcorn
3. Managing God's Money by Randy Alcorn
4. Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott
5. Behold the King: A Study in Matthew by Stanley D. Toussaint
5. Matthew by John Walvoord

What I’m Listening To

1. Midland Radio playlist on Spotify
2. All Things Chris Stapleton
3. What you might not know about IVF via Stand to Reason podcast

From The Internet

1. What Does It Mean That We're "Justified by Works"? via Crossway
2. Warren Buffett's "20 Slot" Rule: How to Simplify Your Life and Maximize Your Results by James Clear
3. The Job Interview Approach by Seth Godin
4. You Make or Break Your Life Between 5-7am by Benjamin Hardy

2018 Year in Review

We are three weeks into a new year. A new year brimming with possibility and opportunity. It can be anything we want it to be, but not without serious work. That’s the thing about climbing new heights and reaching new goals-they demand a lot from us. Seldom do they happen by accident. In fact, they never do. We have to consistently work a plan to turn them into reality.

We could plan out this new year, and set goals without taking stock of where we’ve been, and what we’ve done. But where would be the fun in that? And honestly, where would be the wisdom in charging ahead so blindly?

I’m stealing my good friend Scott Kedersha’s template and asking myself these three questions as a guide to reviewing last year:

1. What went well?

2. What didn’t?

3. What did I learn?

I found this to be a blast of an exercise. It helped me gain clarity on so many aspects of the last 365 or so days, and I am thrilled to share it with you here.

What went well?

Marriage. My wife and I had a fantastic year. Hannah and I grew closer and enter 2019 in a great place, despite some difficult and hard things, which we’ll go into below. Our marriage is in a great place and healthier than it was even a few months ago. We resolve conflict quickly, work on our relationship, and approach everything as a team.

Business. Our photography company continued to grow and connect us with outstanding people. A recent out of state wedding felt more like a vacation with good friends and family than work. That’s a tremendous blessing and testimony to the quality of people we meet on a regular basis.

We also decided to start another business in 2018. While it is still getting off the ground, it is energizing to take on a new challenge and learn new things. This new effort has connected us with new friends and deepened other relationships. Their support, encouragement, and help are awe-inspiring and daily encouragement. 

What didn’t go well?

Writing. What started as a break for the holidays at the close of 2017, turned into a year-long hiatus. New projects and opportunities arose, and writing took a back seat. It was strange for me not to sit down and write on a regular basis because I love and enjoy the process. It aloud me to clear my mind, hit the reset button and ask important questions about the purpose, and direction of my writing.

Most would think that the purpose of maintaining a blog would be to generate and develop a following. That’s not my concern. I have no interest in building a giant following. That’s not the purpose of my writing. I write as a means of expression. An expression I share knowing my struggles, successes, and failures are not unique. While they may not be identical, countless others share them. This repository of lessons learned is meant to encourage and serve you as you face this dangerous battle called life.

As for direction, I will continue to share the things I am reading, learning and focusing on. Discipline will remain a heavy feature I am sure, but other topics will join the fray in 2019. The Monthly Mash Up will continue as a regular collection of resources that get me thinking and encourage my heart.

Now that my hiatus is complete, I will need to focus on rebuilding my writing habits. Rebuilding broken habits is difficult work. It often means reworking your schedule, and saying no to things you’d otherwise say yes to. That is the work I’m setting out to do in 2019, to re-establish life giving habits.

My wife and I experienced our second miscarriage. Before the birth of our son, my wife and I walked through our first miscarriage. We found that time difficult, trying and life-altering. To this day, that first miscarriage was the hardest thing I have ever walked through. The Lord was abundantly kind, gracious and loving in that season. He brought so many kind people into our lives and comforted us in our distress. In the end, that first miscarriage served to strengthen both our trust in The Lord and our marriage.

Several months later, The Lord gifted us the most precious little boy. He is amazing and the light of our world. After his birth, we didn’t give miscarriage a second thought as started trying for a second child. Sadly, our next pregnancy ended in a second heartbreaking miscarriage.

Our response to this second was different from our first. Our response wasn’t wallowing in our grief and giving in to the pain and hurt of it all. It was to get back in the game and expand our trust in the Lord. He is the one in control. He knows the answer to every, “Why me?”, that escapes our lips or crosses our minds. While we aren’t privy to the specifics we want, we have the only answer we need. That answer is that all the things we like the least–pain, hurt, loss–are for our good. They are working to accomplish the awesome task of transforming us into the image of Jesus Christ.

What did I learn?

I am at my best when I get up early. Life falls apart and productivity plummets when I get out of my routine. The key driver to that routine involves waking up early. First thing in the morning my mind is at it’s sharpest. Getting up early allows me to read, write and complete important tasks.

Fatherhood is the best. Every dad I know impresses upon me the speed of time. They say things like, “The years are flying by”, or “They’ll be grown before you know it.” We are like the morning dew. Here in the morning and gone by the afternoon. Life is short. We have to make the most of each moment. That’s why we must resolve conflict quickly, pursue dreams with passion, and cherish loved ones. As my son nears his second birthday, I’m drinking it in. I tell him I love him every chance I get. I hug him like its the last chance I’ll ever get. I do any and everything to squeeze as much life out of our time together as possible. Being a dad is a wonderful gift.

“What do you want to eat?”, is the hardest question you can ask me. Food is a touchy subject in the Hagaman household, and not for the reasons you’d think. It’s not that we’re on different pages about what forms a healthy diet. It’s that thinking about food drives me insane. I despise having to eat many times a day. It eats up so much time and frustrates me. Most of that time and frustration is my own doing. I complicate meal time by not having a clue what I want. Nothing sounds good. Nothing sounds worth the effort. Nothing excites my taste buds. Even when I find something I like, I ruin it. I’ll eat the same thing for days or even weeks until I am so sick of it I can’t stand the thought of it. I know I’m a mess, but its a frustrating topic.

I have to write down my prayers. My mind wanders most when I am trying to pray. After a few seconds, it is off track and wandering through fields of action items. That’s why I had to start writing down my prayers. If I try to pray without a pen in hand, distraction arrives to whisk my mind away to some undisclosed location. Writing them down has helped me gain consistency and clarity in my prayer life. It helps me focus my thoughts on communicating with the Lord and worshiping Him. This is the most important lesson I learned in 2018 because it is the most impactful upon my life.