Monthly Mash Up (April 2019)

“…wake up every morning with one goal in mind—becoming better.”

— Ben Bergeron

The goal of all your effort isn’t the accomplishment. You are never done. You never reach the end of the horizon. There is always something else to chase. A new mountain to climb. Something to learn. Something to improve.

This month’s pursuits led me to some pretty incredible books and podcasts. Below are two books and three podcasts that moved the needle for me this month and helped me grow.

The last Monday of each month I peel back the layers and share the things that have the greatest impact on me. I hope these resources are helpful and brighten your day. If you enjoy it, pass it along. 

Husband in Pursuit: 31 Daily Challenges For Loving Your Wife Well

Ryan and Selena Frederick create remarkably helpful marriage resources. Their blog Fierce Marriage is regularly mentioned within the marriage ministry at our church. They produce truly helpful content. So, I ordered a pair of 31 Day Pursuit Challenges for Hannah and I as our anniversary approached this year.

We are still working through the work books, but have found them a joy. While you won’t find new ideas or concepts, you will find a resource that sets you on the path to deepening your relationship.

Chasing Excellence Podcast: Embrace the Chase

If you’re staggering into the week, this episode will get you squared away and fired up to take on the week ahead. I literally couldn’t take notes fast enough during this one. One of my favorite takeaways is that there is no finish line. There is only the chase. The chase to become the best version of you you’re capable of. It’s about the infinite game. Always learning. Always pushing. Always growing.

Church Leadership Podcast Series on Decision Making

Part 1: Decision Making | Part 2: Decision Making Grid

This two-part series is abundantly helpful. “Leaders,” Todd says, “need to have a bias toward decision making and action.” This two-part series will help you move from inaction to action, and aide you in making better decisions in all areas of life.

Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller

Hannah and I read this book with our Community Group last year and are now revisiting it with our Foundation Group. If you are unclear on the difference, a Foundation Group is collection of newly married couples paired with a mentor couple. Hannah and I have the privilege to serve as leaders for an amazing group of young married couples. We kicked off our study of Keller’s book this past week.

Head to Heart

Moving what you learn from knowledge to practice is hard. In fact, it’s one of the hardest things you do in life.

Sliding knowledge from the head to the heart is a battle. It’s a battle fought on a moment by moment basis. The tide of that battle changes throughout the day. In some moments you’re winning and at others, you’re losing.

You’ve got to win this battle.  

It does you little good to take in great information and know all these things and fail to move them from knowledge to practice.

Think about all the things you learn. Now think about how many of those things make this journey.

Why do some things make it, and some don’t?

It all comes down to habits.

Habits are small decisions you make daily. They are automatic responses to things that happen in life. Habits are essentially the “if, then” programming of your life.

In fact, that’s an excellent way to think about them.

·      If / when the alarm goes off, then I will get out of bed.

·      If / when a negative thought enters my mind, then I will counter it with God’s word.

·      If / when someone is rude, then I will respond with kindness.

·      If / when hardship comes, then I will see it as an opportunity.

You could list out all the ways to program the incredibly important things you learn into your life.

A great exercise would be to write out specific applications for each thing you read, hear, and learn.

You win by connecting what you learn to your life in a real and tangible way.

It’s hard work, but everything worth doing is hard.

The Thinking You Tolerate

“It is not what you talk about, it is what you tolerate.”

— Ben Bergeron

You talk a lot.

Words flitter through your mind and fall from your tongue all day long. 

While you talk to others often, the overwhelming majority of your talking is with yourself.

The importance of what you say in these millions of conversations with yourself is impossible to overstate.

Your inner dialogue forms much of how you see the world. Or said another way, your worldview flows from your self-talk.

It shapes your view of the world out there, and how you view the person in here. Your identity comes out of your worldview.

This is important because it drives how you act and behave. You act in certain ways because you believe certain things about yourself. Your actions make visible what’s already going on within. They merely drag your inmost parts into the light.

How you see yourself is wildly important.

That’s why the first step in moving forward and re-charting your course rests upon reforming your thinking. You must change your thinking to change your life.

You can talk about a lot of things, but it’s what you tolerate to populate your mind that wins the day.

The exciting news is that you get to choose:

·      The type of person you become.

·      Your attitude when things get tough.

·      Your response when things don’t go your way.

That choice gets made by the story you tell yourself. You get to pick the story you tolerate within your own mind.

Grit Over Talent

Failure hurts. It isn’t fun and no one enjoys walking through it.

Most people want things to come easily. They want stuff to work out well the first go around. They want things to come naturally.

Most people desire for talent alone to carry them to victory. Grit may be the stuff of motivational posters, but it doesn’t sound like the path they’d choose to walk.

If your honest, that’s exactly how you want to world to work. You want to work hard, but not THAT hard. Grinding away sounds miserable.

But it’s the path you’ve got to walk if you want success. There’s the old saying, “inspiration must find you working.” Few things ring so true.

That’s how life works. You must work, work, and work. Push past resistance. Stay the course come what may.

You’ll find that everything, absolutely everything, you want in life on the other side of this type of work.

“The things which hurt,” Benjamin Franklin said, “instruct.”

All the pain, stress, and exhaustion that comes as a result are part of the path. It teaches and informs who you are. It makes you the person you become.

Grit is one of your most important attributes. It takes care of you when everything else falls through.

Push harder when things get hard. Get up when you fail. Don’t get discouraged when things don’t go your way. Keep working away day after day, week after week, month after month, you get the picture.

That’s what grit looks like.

Grit is closely related to consistency and passion. Grit is consistently working with passion despite obstacles.

Lean into grit. Make it your secret weapon. Keep it in your back pocket and pull it out when life demands.

When It Counts

“Only when it gets hard does it start to count.”

— Usain Bolt

When you’re dead tired. When your legs are heavy. When your heart is pounding. When you’re over heated. When your body tells you you’ve reached your limit.

That’s when the real work begins. That’s when you improve. Everything before that is your buy in. The price you pay for opportunity to do the real work you’re here to do.

You’re here to get faster, stronger, harder to kill. You’re working every day to become the very best version of you.

Push harder when fatigue shows up. He’s not your enemy. He’s there to help you in your quest. So, be thankful he showed up. Be glad because he’s making you better.

Every time you’re exhausted and your body wants to quit, tell yourself, “It’s time to get better. This is how you improve. This is how you win.”

Let this be the voice inside your head. Let it drive all other voices and messages from your mind. Let it consume you until your work is done.