Wondrous Help For When Words Fail

Heads bowed, and eyes closed the ups and downs of life weighing heavy on your heart and mind. Knowing you should pray to seek the Lord's will, guidance and way but haven't a clue where to start or what to say. Words fail and soon you muddle through the same repetitive prayer you pray each day. 

Sound familiar? 

Praying God's word can be extremely helpful in breaking up the malaise of your common prayers, and give you the words to express your deepest longings, greatest sources of anxiety and petition for God's miraculous grace to invade every corner of your world. 

Over the last several months, my wife and I have enjoyed reading through The Valley of Vision, a collection of puritan prayers and devotionals. The puritans, while just as flawed and broken as the rest of us, are a great source of joy and encouragement to this pilgrim's weary soul.

Oh how I long to study, think and pray as they did. They swam deep in the waters of God's word and it shows in every line they penned and in every prayer they wrote. God's word drips from their pen and leaves you wanting to know the Lord as intimately as these men from years long past.

Modern man can easily fall prey to believing he is more enlightened than men from ages long ago, but the eloquent writing found within the pages of these prayers displays and intellect well worth pursuing and emulating. Sentences carefully crafted, ideas grounded in both God's word and human experience, and a knowledge of the wickedness of their own hearts yields insights that transcend time.    

Not knowing what or how to pray is a conundrum each of us faces in the course of life. Thankfully God has given us both His word and the words of men carried along by His grace to provide a help to us. Below is one such prayer my wife and I read not too long ago. Notice the rhythm, rhyme, and grace of their words, but more than that notice the biblical truth that informed such a prayer.  

The Divine Will

O Lord,

I hang on thee; I see, believe, live,

when thy will, not mine, is done; 

I can plead nothing in myself

in regard of any worthiness and grace, 

in regard of thy providence and promises, 

but only thy good pleasure. 

If thy mercy make me poor and vile, blessed be thou!

Prayers arising from my needs are preparations for future mercies; 

Help me to honour thee by believing before I feel,

for great is the sin if I make feeling a cause of faith.

Show me what sins hide thee from me

and eclipse thy love;

Help me to humble myself for past evils, 

to be resolved to walk with more care, 

For if I do not walk holily before thee, 

how can I be assured of my salvation?

It is the meek and humble who are shown thy covenant,

know thy will, are pardoned and healed,

who by faith depend and rest upon grace,

who are sanctified and quickened, 

who evidence thy love.

Help me to pray in faith and so find thy will,

by leaning hard on thy rich free mercy,

by believing thou wilt give what thou hast promised;

Strengthen me to pray with the conviction

that whatever I receive is thy gift, 

so that I may pray until prayer be granted;

Teach me to believe that all degrees of mercy arise

from several degrees of prayer;

that when faith is begun it is imperfect and must grow,

as chapped ground opens wider and wider until rain comes.

So shall I wait thy will, pray for it to be done,

and by thy grace become fully obedient.  

5 Things To Remember When Feelings Are In The Driver's Seat

It was a beautiful summer night. The wind blew softly through the trees and leaves danced playfully across the street, as if to music only they could hear. Couples giggled as they strolled with comfortable ease, enjoying the feel of the setting sun upon their cheeks. It was truly a wondrous mid-summer's evening. 

A joyous hum reverberated off the walls as they opened the double doors leading inside. Two star crossed lovers sat enthralled with one another in a near by corner booth, truly lost in their own little world. Several families sat holding hands and bowing their heads as they praying over their meals, thanking God for His good and gracious provision. A group of long lost friends were gathered around a long narrow table. They were telling stories, cracking jokes and toasting recent victories. Excitement, love, joy, and thankfulness could be seen inscribed upon their faces. The aroma of garlic bread and pizza dough filled their lungs and caused mouths to water. The room bubbled over with energy, and not one unhappy soul could be found. 

As the host led the way, everyone looked around soaking up the atmosphere. Not only were mouths watering and stomaches growling with hunger, but hearts longed to connect. Flashes of smiles and the sounds of happiness flooded the senses. They sat down, ordered a round and conversation ensued. Topics bounced around faster than a pinball. One minute discussing the sights, sounds and flavors of the night, another diving into the wonder and splendor of recent adventures. Maybe someone recently returned from a trip to Spain, where they ran with the bulls and inhaled a culture different from their own. Perhaps someone recently met their childhood idle or got to jam with a musical legend. Whatever the topic, conversation flows with the smoothness of your favorite cabernet. Smiling faces and laughs all around. Everyone is filled with excitement, joy and energy.

Things couldn't be more fun. That is until they all of a sudden aren't. Out of the blue the conversation takes a turn. What was once an evening filled with laughter and smiles has all of a sudden taken on a more serious tone. What's this? Controversy at the dinner table? Not everyone is so happy and go with the flow anymore. Passions run high, opinions and beliefs hit the table with the comparative thud of a stack of biology textbooks in a quiet library. Fingers get pointed and voices raised. No one jumps across the table or resorts to physical violence, but boy does the tone and voracity of the discussion change. 

What happened to turn such a glorious evening into one filled with disagreement and contention?  

Emotions and feelings got in the way of love, compassion and reason. 

Ever since the forbidden fruit touched man's lips, we've gone our own way and run from what we know is right. Things have escalated of late and feelings have taken over. By listening to feelings and emotion we have become a culture enslaved by them. Not only do we increasingly respond emotionally, but we have begun to reason emotionally as well. Feelings have officially dethroned reason and thought from their rightful place. 

That's a huge problem. 

Maybe you've noticed that your heart, like mine, has a million different feelings swirling around inside at any given moment. It may even feel like it's about to burst and come crashing through your chest like the Kool Aid Man. What are we to do when the deck feels so stacked against us? As I've processed what to say in response to a culture and a heart held captive by feelings, I keep coming back to the concept of reminders. Reminders can serve a pretty powerful role in our lives. They can help keep us focused on thoughts, ideas and truth when we need it most.

If you've ever been bowling, you've no doubt seen the bumper rails that help young kids avoid a constant barrage of gutter balls. Reminders can serve a very similar role for us. They help keep us on the straight and narrow instead of constantly finding ourselves in the gutter. 

That's exactly what I want to do with the remainder of this post. Remind us both of a few important things that just might help us keep it together.   

1. Feelings aren't reliable. They change with far too great a frequency. Trying to keep up with the whims of your emotions is an exercise in chasing the wind. You're not entirely sure where it came from or where its going. You just know its past you by. Not to say your feelings and mine aren't real and valid. They just shouldn't carry near the weight and credence we give them.  

2. Truth really does matter. Nietzsche may have been wrong about quite a few things but it can't be said that he didn't understood the implications of his ideas. In his "Parable of the Madman" his madman asks a  series of insightful questions in response to the death of God. Among the most potent and pressing is, "Who gave us a sponge to wipe away the horizon?" It points us directly to the implications of unhinging ourselves from truth. The truth about God, how he designed the universe to operate and our right response to it all. When we walk away from truth, there's no longer any up or down, left or right, right or wrong. In effect, we loose all sight of the horizon. Like a boat lost at sea, we drift farther and farther off course until we've lost all sight of where we began and where we are headed. Without firm and constant reminders of truth each of us will drift and wake up to find ourselves somewhere we never wanted to go.      

3. Slowing down won't hurt you. Not everything has to be done, or said in the moment. There is a place for calm, reasoned reflection. Take a deep breath, drink some water and hit pause on a conversation when you need to. 

4. No response required. Not every opinion, statement or argument presented requires our response. This is a hard one! Just like a referee, we each can have the tendency to quickly and passionatly point out where others are wrong or where we disagree. When has this approach ever gone well? Usually it leads down a new rabbit trail and derails the entire conversation. Rarely does it accomplish what we desire. Be selective about what points you will and won't respond to, even if that means holding your tongue all together.  

5. Method and tone eat message for breakfast, lunch and dinner. We've all heard it a thousand times, because its so very true. It's not what you say, but how you say it. We can say good, right and true things in the wrong way and no one will hear it. All anyone will focus on is our delivery.     

A Quick Simple Way To Improve At Sharing Your Faith

You're constantly surrounded by and bumping into people who don't know Christ. That person sitting next to you on the plane, in a coffee shop or standing behind you in line at the grocery store. Many of them don't know Christ, and might even be hostile to the gospel. You know you should talk to them about spiritual things, you may even want to, but for this reason or that you don't. Maybe you don't know where to begin or fear you won't be able to handle the objections they might throw out. 

Don't worry, you aren't alone. Most of us have been there at one time or another. I certainly have. 

Your heart's pounding like it'll jump out of your chest at any second, your palms are clamming up with sweat, and your knees are shaking like a leaf in the wind.  Voice trembling all along, you turn and say,

"Hello. I'm Scotty. What's your name?"

"Hi Scotty, great to meet you. My name's Eric."

Now what? You've introduced yourself and engaged them in conversation at the most basic level, but haven't a clue what say next.

"What do you believe about God?" You quickly stammer out.

"God? Only cotton headed ninny muggins believe in that stuff."

"Um...Uh..."

How do you respond? What do you say next? I doubt a real conversation would be this direct, and that the response of an atheist would include a reference to Elf, but it does have a ring of truth to it doesn't it.

We've all been party to or witnessed some awkward version of the above exchange. We mean well, and are willing to step up to the plate, but we haven't the first clue what to do once we get there. Most of the time we don't even get the bat off our shoulder.

Why is that? Don't we have deeply held convictions and reasoned arguments to support what we believe about God, The Bible and reality? Of course we do. The problem is that we don't have a clear, concise game plan. Think about it. Every great success in the world has a plan and works it. They craft it carefully and are ready when the moment strikes. The same is true when it comes to having spiritual conversations, its a pretty good idea to have a game plan. 

Greg Koukl has done the heavy lifting for us. He has carefully and thoughtfully crafted a game plan to help followers of Christ engage the world around them in a wise and gracious fashion. This game plan can be located in his book, Tactics: A Game Plan For Discussing Your Christian Convictions. 

Today, I want to share with you some of the most helpful and insightful aspects of Greg's book. Insights that I hope and pray will help you in your conversations this week, and encourage you to run grab your own copy of Tactics. 

Let's get down to business and discuss 

1. Leave a stone in their shoe

Greg completely shatters many of the preconceived notions too many of us have when it comes to evangelism. Early on he compels us to start thinking of spiritual conversations in a new light and to readjust our goals from getting to a full on gospel presentation in each and every conversation to "put a stone in someone's shoe". What does this odd but catchy phrase mean? It means leaving the other person with something worth thinking about, something that just gnaws at them in a good way.  

2. Get good at asking questions

By asking carefully selected questions you accomplish several things at the same time. You gain control of the conversation, keep it moving forward and keep things civil. Again the goal isn't to share the gospel in each and every conversation, it is to ask the right question and plant the right seed to get the other person thinking. Questions are one of the best vehicles for encouraging thoughtful dialogue. They are non threatening, friendly, and flattering. People love to share their opinion, its just that so few people ever take the time to ask. 

Question 1: "What do you mean by that?" 

Make them spell out their own view, specifically. In order to have a thoughtful conversation, you need to understand the other person's views. This question helps you gather valuable information on exactly what they think. Instead of staggering through the conversation assuming you know what they mean by this or that, this question is designed to help you get it straight from the horses mouth. You'll be surprised how often you're assumptions are wrong. Better still, you get them to spell it out in exact terms. No more guess work on your part. 

Question 2: "How did you come to that conclusion?"

They've made a claim and presented a view, now its time to make them defend it. It's not your job to refute their claim, it's up to them to prove it. Ask them to explain what has led them to drawing their particular conclusions. Intelligent views have supporting reasons. Make them spell these out. 

3. Plan ahead

There are certain topics that you can reasonably assume will come up as you're out and about. If you sat down for more than 10 mins. you could come up with dozens of objections that will be thrown your way. Get ready for them. If Adrian Beltre knew the next pitch was a fastball down the middle of the plate, you can be certain it'll end up about 20 rows deep. He's flat hit it out of the park. And so should you. Take some time to formulate and practice responses to common objections. This is where modern technology come in handy. Create notes in your favorite note taking app containing common questions, arguments and claims with your responses. That way you have them right there in your pocket everywhere you go. 

No one said evangelism would be easy stuff. Sometimes it leads to some down right nasty encounters. No matter how rude people are, or how poorly we think we've done it, hopefully we'll have left a stone in their shoe that gets them thinking. I have only scratched the surface on the immense help Greg provides in Tactics. It is one of those rare books that becomes a resource you will return to time and again the minute you finish it.   

What You Can Learn From A Blogging Failure

The Summer and Fall of 2015 were wonderful. Not only was I able to come home and join my wife in working full-time on our photography business, I also began writing again. Rejoining the blogging world was invigorating. It has been so good for my heart and soul. As the clock struck midnight and 2015 faded to black I was overjoyed to see what the new year would bring. Fast forward a few months and while much of the year has been amazing, the blog has been touch and go at best. Posts have been infrequent and I haven't been writing with any form of regularity.    

Why write?

Writing is an immensely personal thing. In writing you're translating thousands of thoughts, emotions and ideas from the muddled mess flying around in your head into something clear and intriguing. Letters, words, sentences and paragraphs that communicate something going on in you to the big old world out there. Maybe you noticed something while out on a walk, overheard a conversation in the grocery store or experienced something that got your mind twirling. Whatever it is, you have to write about it. Not because your thoughts, insights and quirky humor are better that others but for the simple reason that writing is what you do. You may not be good at a lot of things, heck you may not even be a "good" writer, but you process the events and emotions of life by putting words on a page. There is rarely anything so exhilarating as that rare moment when you communicate exactly what you're experiencing, or thinking in just the right sequence of words. It might not be Shakespeare but its about as close as you'll ever come. When that moment arrives, few things are as magical. 

Your writing goes far beyond mere expression and processing, it is an avenue to help, encourage and serve others. There are what 8 billion people in the world, a large swath of whom have internet access. It is safe to say that there are quite likely many other people walking through the exact same things as you are each and every day. Will all of them find your dinky little blog and read it? No they won't. What if however your writing finds it's way into the hands of one person somewhere in the world you've never met and most likely never will and it helps them? How marvelous an outcome would that be? I can think of no better outcome for my writing than for the words and sentences I slam together to in some small way help, uplift and encourage another. 

What makes writing so hard?

Few things are as terrifying as a white blank page. It can be utterly paralyzing. You freeze. You don't know where to begin, what to say or even how to say it. Paralyzing fear sets in and you can now think of a thousand other things you'd rather be doing than staring at this blank page, and pounding your head into the desk hoping words will come out. At that moment you wouldn't care what words came out. Any words will do. You are simply and utterly terrified. 

Sound familiar? I know it sure does to me. That is my life most days. I sit down to write and.....nothing. My mind goes blank and I just sit there staring at the screen hoping something will come to mind. As you talk with most people who enjoy writing you will find this is an entirely normal occurrence. Never mind that it's normal though, it is still down right frustrating. You want to write, you even have time set aside for this express purpose, but the words won't flow. And then it hits you. You're over thinking it and making things way harder than they have to be. You realize you don't have to pen a master piece, you just have to get words out of your head and on to the page. Nothing more nothing less. 

What can we learn from it?

I have written very little over the last several months. I've sat down to write, and the words just haven't been there. As I've tried to figure it out and put my finger on exactly what's going on in my heart a few things have stood out to me. 

1. Don't be overly concerned with what other people think. It's a killer. Being over concerned with the thoughts and opinions of others has stopped me from writing all together the last few weeks. The thought has been, "If I don't have anything 'good' and 'helpful' to say, I just won't write anything. After all, I'd hate to write something people dislike, and/or even laugh at. That would just be the worst." In reality, no one cares that much about what you write. Not that many people will read it anyway, so you might as well just write. If by some miracle someone does, so what if they don't like it. The worst that that can come of it, is just that, they don't like it or share it with their friends. That's not such a big deal when you pause to think about it. 

2. Your habits really matter. As I've mentioned, I've really dropped the ball and fallen out of the daily discipline of writing. Normally, I'm all about habits and routines. So much of your personal productivity is tied to the habits you keep. Its time to reconstruct my habits and reinstitute this all too important one into my day. Will I love or even like everything I write? No, but I'll be practicing and improving with each and every key stroke. And that the most important thing.

 3. Some things ebb and flow. One moment ideas, topics, analogies and all around genius seem to come pouring out of you. It just comes so easy. You know what you want to say, the words come quickly and you're done. Sadly, that isn't the case on most occasions. There is a grind to it. Most days you have to keep pushing, keep writing and rewriting until you complete something your satisfied with. 

4. Grace abounds. If you go a few weeks or months without writing consistently, it's not the end of the world. Writing after all is first and foremost a manner of expression and method of processing. The blog monster can be a mean one. One that can be overwhelming and demanding for sure. There can easily be a feeling that you "have to publish" on a particular schedule. Be free to publish on your very own schedule. There are no rules when it comes to blogging. Isn't that great news? You get to use it in whatever way you desire. So don't beat yourself up if you miss a day, a week or even a month. Just crack open journal, notebook or laptop and start writing again. 

What The Best Men I Know Say About Telling People Hard Things

Part of loving people well involves telling them the truth, especially when the truth hurts and is something they don't want to hear.

Want to know who your real friends are? Ask yourself who has confronted you on your stuff, asked you hard questions and told you what you don't want to hear. In fact, this one quality more than any other shows you who truly cares for and loves you.

Given that part of loving people well involves telling them the truth, especially when it hurts and is something they don't want to hear, each of us should strive to improve in doing so.

One of the best ways to improve at something is to talk with people who do it really well. And that's exactly what I've done. I sought the wisdom and advice of a few of the best men I know. Men who strike the right balance of sharing the truth in love.

In this process several things popped up over and over again, and that is what I want to share with you today. When something comes up over and over, perk up and listen, it just might change your life. 

Of all the advice and insight I received as I reached out and spoke with others, humility came up more than any other. In fact, it was the first thing mentioned each and every time.

And that is telling.   

We hear this word all the time, but how often do we contemplate how a humble attitude would impact our lives? If I'm honest with you, I fail the humility test WAY too often. I routinely want things to go my way and get caught up in my own thoughts, opinions and desires. That's why I've found the advice of others to be so helpful.

So what does it look like to walk into a conversation with a humble heart. 

A humble heart is self aware

It takes stock of how it feels, what its thinking and its attitude and posture. It recognizes that anger, frustration and a critical spirit do not produce the righteousness of God and takes steps to deal with its own junk before addressing anyone else's. What's going on inside your heart matters more than the truth you're trying to share. As Scott Kedersha says, "We don't want to be people who say the right thing or do the right thing without our heart guiding us. It's like the Pharisees being white-washed tombs; clean on the outside, messy on the inside." 

A humble heart is kind

It doesn't speak harshly or rudely, but with softness and gentleness of tone. It is calm and collected, not bouncing off the walls. You've heard it said, but it is worth repeating that, it's not what you say but how you say it. Tone matters. It can either be your friend or your greatest hurdle. Jon Flaming captures the difficulties tone can present as he shares, "I could speak God's truth to someone all day long, but if it is not done with humility and kindness that person will never hear it." A humble heart recognizes that sharp and cutting words and actions are counter productive and make it near impossible for the other person to hear the truth in their words. Instead a humble heart seeks to do everything it can to be kind.   

A humble heart is motivated by love

It is genuinely concerned about the other person's well being and good. A humble heart is not looking to score points, win an argument or point out where others are wrong just for sport. No, it hangs in there and has the hard conversation because they are motivated by love. It's cliche, but people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.