Turning 30: Mentors From A Distance

Most late afternoons during my college years I could be found sitting at a picnic table with headphones in. Fast forward to the present and little has changed. I spend a good portion of my day with headphones in listening to a podcast, sermon or music. They are among my most valuable tools. They help me stay focused and get things done, but more importantly these two white buds are responsible for who I am and who I am becoming.

Apple's invention of the iPod came along at just the right moment. I was in my late teens or early twenties and filled with an insatiable appetite for knowledge. Knowledge I couldn't find in the classroom, or school library. I wanted to know God and be shaped by His word. No better tool could have burst onto the scene than this new avenue of filling my mind with all manner of things called the podcast.

Regardless your tastes—there's something sitting out there just waiting to deliver massive amounts of information you'll love directly to your brain. They allow some of the most thoughtful minds to serve as mentors from a distance. They provide the opportunity for us to spend countless hours with these men, without the trouble of traveling and booking time on their calendars. We can meet with them whenever and wherever we please.

There have been many shaping voices over the years. I would like to share a few of them with you and encourage that you give them a listen on your commute, while working out or perhaps the next time your relaxing in the serene surroundings of nature.

Many voices have impacted me over the years, but John Piper has been the most influential. You're most likely familiar with his writing and teaching ministry. Perhaps you've read and been encouraged by Desiring God, Future Grace or Don't Waste Your Life. Maybe you've listened to one of his classic sermon series—I've especially enjoyed his Romans series as well as the biographical messages he's given at the Desiring God Pastors Conferences throughout the years. Piper has made a contribution to evangelical thought and discussion unlike anyone in the last half century. Among his most lasting and far-reaching contributions is his embracing and leveraging of media / technology for kingdom purposes. An early adopter of technological wizardry such as social media, podcasting & the internet, Piper has shown an entire generation of believers a model for engaging culture in a winsome way. Of the many resources available at DesiringGod.org I will commend two for your listening pleasure. The first, is his daily podcast Ask Pastor John—where Piper answers listener questions about life, theology and more in a quick yet satisfying manner. The second resource I would like to suggest is a sermon Pastor John gave as part of his series on The Book of Romans called What Is the Will of God, and How Do We Know It?—careful this one might change your life.      

Matt Chandler has served a major role in shaping and establishing much of my spiritual journey. Few can articulate the truths of the gospel in as compelling a fashion as Chandler. His compassionate plea and admonition that there is room at the foot of the cross have changed not only my life but countless others. Following in the footsteps of the aforementioned John Piper, Matt has grasped hold of the power of media—which means that the majority of his preaching catalog can be found online. From that impressive catalog—I could not recommend his sermon series on Ecclesiastes to you strongly enough. In a culture obsessed with riches, pleasure and attention this word from King Solomon is timely and needed. Matt also cohosts a weekly podcast called Culture Matters, where he and his trusty sidekick Josh Patterson discuss pertinent topics and interview some of the most compelling guests. 

Tommy Nelson is the most outstanding teacher of God's word you've never heard of. When I first subscribed to the Denton Bible Church podcast, the large booming voice of the former UNT quarterback came radiating through my headphones. It clearly and wonderfully communicated the beauty and excellence of Christ with a folksy charm that pulled me in. As a result I spent hundreds of hours listening to him unpack truth whether he was walking line by line through a text or unpacking history. The full scale of Tommy's gifts are on full display in his series entitled The 60's: The Fault Line of America and The Book of Romans. 

"All I want to do," Greg Koukl says, "is put a stone in someone's shoe. I want to give him something worth thinking about, something he can't ignore because it continues to poke at him in a good way." Few thinkers approach sharing the Christian worldview in as kind & conversational a manner as Greg Koukl. He is thoughtful, insightful and engaging when discussing matters of faith and reality. The Stand to Reason Weekly Podcast provides wisdom for navigating the issues of the day and tactics for engaging the world around you with truth. With this helpful tool in your pocket, you'll be prepared to give a clear & effective response to the questions of our day. 

"Discipleship is a relationship", Tommy Nelson says, "between older and younger Christians based on scripture & trust that will progressively bring the younger to resemble the other in knowledge, life and purpose through the grace of God." If he is correct, what I'm calling impact & influence is actually discipleship—without the context of personal relationship and physical presence. The fact that these men wouldn't recognize or notice me if we were in the same room is of little consequence. The Lord has used their teaching ministries to touch my life and assist my growth in Christlikeness. For this I am immensely grateful and commend their resources to you in hopes that they help spur you on. 

Turning 30: Impactful Experiences

It was a dark stormy night. Far off the coast on a large imposing rock shooting out of the sea the rain beat violently against the windows of a small, pathetic looking shack. As the wind howled and swirled about it shook the creaky old structure so that few inside could fully rest. Curled up on the floor laid a quiet unassuming boy few bothered to pay attention to. He shivered and shook almost as violently as the poor excuse for a house they found themselves in. Whether it was the cold or excitement deep in his heart at the approaching arrival of his eleventh birthday, the boy couldn't sleep.

On the couch his chubby cousin on the other hand was sleeping soundly with not a care in the world. As the storm raged on outside however the sounds of a crashing knock began to fill the meager cabin. Someone was knocking at the door, that stood little chance of preventing anyone who truly wanted in from gaining access to their temporary hamlet. After a few blows that sounded like the firing of cannon balls, the door gave way. Now entering the room was a giant, imposing figure with wild, unruly appearance. Truth be told, he struck fear into the hearts of all present as he came striding into view. After a short, tense conversation the young boy heard four little words that would forever change his life, "Harry-yer a wizard."

We all know how the story of Harry Potter hinges on the revelation that Harry isn't simply a small, starved young boy living under a stairwell, but is actually a wizard changed everything. The entire story and all that follows flows from this one moment where the character's reality shifts in an instant.

Listening to Mike Rowe over the last collection of months has introduced me to peripeteia and the concept is simply fascinating.  

Peripeteia is defined as a sudden reversal of fortune or change in circumstances. It's that singular experience or moment in a person's life at which things change. It's that dime on which everything turns and heads in a new direction. It's what Paul Harvey did for all those years and it's what Mike Rowe does every week on his podcast The Way I Heard It.

We've all been there at one time or another. Something so impactful takes place that it changes us in dramatic and lasting fashion.

While the dramatic turning point of my life is the story of how Christ ransomed me from the pit and brought me into His family, there are three experiences in the last several years that qualify as life shaping. Each is part of the unfolding of finding life in Christ into all subsequent moments and experiences. 

Marriage has perhaps been the single most impactful experience of my life, outside of Christ saving me, and it will no doubt continue to be until my days on this earth are done. I married one amazing women who daily encourages, supports, loves and inspires me yet few of those qualities are why marriage has and will continue to have such a shaping influence on my life. Marriage is so impactful for the simple reason that God designed it to be so. As He fashioned and formed man & women and set them in the garden He did so for a myriad of purposes that include reflecting His saving love for us in Christ, the refinement of our character.

Hannah daily helps me be and become something & someone I could not be on my own, a more fully committed follower of Jesus Christ. No one shows me my sin, need for Christ or points me towards Him like she does. Not a day goes by that I am not in someway reminded of my deep need for (1) the provision made for me in Christ and (2) His daily power and strength to grow in Christ likeness. Most of the time Hannah isn't even aware of it. Among the thousands of good things that flow from a healthy marriage, this is perhaps the greatest gift my wife could ever give me.

Merge helped lay some pretty big stones on which Hannah and I have built our marriage and life together. If you're unfamiliar with Merge, it is the pre-marital ministry at Watermark Community Church in Dallas, TX. In eight short weeks, that feel like trying to fill a tea cup with a fire hose at times, couples walk through and discuss topics from God's design for marriage to finances, to conflict & communication to sex and everything in between.

As Hannah and I walked into the crowded room in the winter of 2012, we thought Merge would simply be another item we checked off our list. Little did we know just how enormous an impact it would have. In the subsequent weeks, we fought and argued like never before or since, but as we hashed things out, asked questions and dealt with where we differed, we laid a solid foundation for our marriage to come. Fast forward the tape just four quick years and we now have the pleasure of serving in the very ministry that so profoundly impacted us. Every new table of young, energetic couples with bright shiny faces provides us an opportunity to help them lay the same solid foundation our Merge leaders helped us to lay. 

Miscarriage is an unbelievably painful and heart wrenching experience. One I honestly hadn't fully understood until we found ourselves standing face to face with the very real, and raw pain it brings. As Christ followers we understand that life begins at the moment of conception, and as a result believe that the loss of that life at any point is a tragedy. That's one truth that causes so much difficulty and searing emotional pain when a miscarriage happens.

You struggle to make sense of it all. You ask deep, hard questions that may not have an answer on this side of the grave. And therein rests the answer to the hope of the believer in Christ at such moments of trouble, resurrection. The Christian understands that this life, with all its pain, heartache, and trouble, is not the end of the story. It is but a brief interlude on the way to eternity. Does what we do with this life matter a whole heck of a lot? You bet! But its not the end. All the loss, death, hunger, pain and evil that presently attend and torment this world will not only be removed but their effects reversed and made right. That's what the life, death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ is all about, how God in Christ is making right all that has gone wrong in creation because of sin.

Miscarriages are a part of that. Though we do not fully understand why, we know that God is good, He is in control and He can be trusted. This extremely tough set of circumstances and events that could have shaken our faith in Christ has helped strengthen it. We are faced with two choices when hardship comes our way (1) abandon faith and go our own way, or (2) trust in the only one who can make all things right again. The first path means trusting in our feelings and emotions to lead us to healing, and the second path means leaning on truth and the almighty to bring healing to our hearts. Hannah and I have chosen the second path and it has lead to a greater joy in Christ than we could otherwise be found. 

There are going to be a great many moments in life that deeply matter and that will change you in varying degrees, but there will be a few that break in just the right way to help you become the man or women your supposed to be. The trick is slowing down, taking a few deep breaths and noticing them. Turning 30 has been a great opportunity for me to slow down and take stock of what the Lord has done throughout the now 3 decades I've roamed this earth. We are now approaching the start of a new school year, and the turning of the calendar, all of which are also good opportunities for reflection. 

Turning 30: The Most Impactful Books I've Read

Simple letters on a page. Shades of black against a crisp white background. All lined up neatly in rows and flowing smoothly from left to right. Forming words, sentences and paragraphs that take you anywhere you have a mind to go. Whether its love, adventure or bold ideas, those simple little letters contain far more power than a quick glance reveals. Such is the power of books. 

Stretched out on the couch, propped up in bed or sitting in a leather chair reading is one of my favorite pastimes. Reading has been a passion since I was a little tike. When I was in elementary school, the book fair was my favorite time of year. Row upon row of books to read. Some about a teacher who was really a vampire, and others detailing the adventures of some crime solving youth. Whatever the book, I most likely wanted to read it. 

Fast forward a few years and getting lost in a well told story or wringing all I can from a helpful resource, books remain one of the primary ways I relax, unwind and learn. They are life giving, challenge the way I think and cause me to pause and take stock of my life. 

Over the years I've consumed hundred of books, yet there have been but a few that have marked me in a real and positive sense. Today, I want to share them with you. These are not my favorite books but simply those that have had a true and lasting impact on the way I think and who I am. 

Desiring God is the most impactful book I have ever read. It changed the course and pattern of my walk with Christ in a powerful way. It helped me see that God in Christ is after my joy. He isn't some cosmic killjoy but rather a loving father who is intensely concerned with my joy.

Too often the picture we form of God casts Him as disconnected, cold, unconcerned or the enemy of fun. In short, we far too often have a view of God and who He is that is starkly and surprisingly unbiblical. This remarkable book found its way into my hands at just the right time, took me on a journey through God's word and brought me to the glorious discovery that delighting in Him is the great and wonderful duty He has give us.   

Law & Grace
By Alva J. McClain

The relationship between the law and grace. How do they interact? Are the two mutually exclusive? Are Christians still under the law? Are there additional works that must be performed of me now that I've placed my trust in Christ? All these questions and a dozen others find their answer in this small but powerful book.

Reconciling the grace of God in Christ with the call to personal holiness can be hard. We so much desire a set of rules and regulations to live by. We clamor for a list that says, "Do this and don't do that, and you will go to Heaven." Our sinful hearts are obsessed with doing. Law And Grace helped me understand more fully the power of the gospel and the truth that it really is finished. There is no need for us to add our works to the finished work of Christ. He really did pay it all. Our attempts to do so only serve to cheapen the gospel and reveal just how desperately we need to be reminded of it each and every day. 

Knowing God
By J. I. Packer

Every now and then you catch a glimpse of someone who has lived life so incredibly well. You stop and pause to breath it in. You study it and look at the way they carry themselves, the weight of their words, and their impact on others and long for the same qualities to found within yourself.

J.I. Packer leads such a life. It draws its power and flows from the deepest of wells, a deep abiding relationship with Christ. It is the most important and defining characteristic of his life. I hope and pray the same will be said of me when my days are complete. Knowing God, there is nothing so sweet, so wonderful. This modern classic helps us move beyond simply knowing about God but endeavors to guide us to meeting Him, loving Him and embracing Him for all He is for us in Christ. 

Each of these books has had a profound impact on my life, but why? Why these relatively few books compared to the vast others I've consumed?  

1. They found me at the right time. Timing matters when it comes to reading. A book you completely hate at one time might be one you absolutely love at another. When a book hits your desk is just as important as anything else. Reading the right book at the wrong time, won't help you any more than the wrong book at the right time. 

2. They addressed a question or issue I was already wrestling with at the time. There are plenty of books that I have loved reading. In fact, there is a small list of books that I've actually put down and stopped reading because I just couldn't take it anymore. However, just because I enjoy a book, doesn't mean it is one that's impacting me deeply. Some of my favorite books have been those I've read for no other purpose than pure enjoyment. 

3. It had a unique contribution to make. It wasn't a rehash of dozens of other books on the subject, each made their own contribution to the topic. It can be frustrating to pick up a book, begin to read it and then realize that the author has nothing new or unique to add to the discussion. While this doesn't happen all the time, it happens far more often than it should.  

Turning 30: Three Men Who've Had A Profound Influence

The guy walked through the door. Suddenly the sounds of honking horns, engines revving, and brakes squeaking was replaced by the gentle hum of voices in mid-conversation, plates and glasses clinking and the soft tones of music playing in the background. It was a coffee shop off a crowded city street, just like dozens of others he'd been in over the years. The room was dark and on the walls hung pictures and paintings of various kinds. Some were extremely good, but others not so much. The baristas were working feverishly behind the counter, calling out "tall hazelnut mocha" as the sweet aroma of freshly ground coffee beans wafted through the air. For a moment, maybe two, he stood still just inside the door taking it all in. It wasn't a large place so as his eyes adjusted from the glaring brightness of the afternoon sun to the gloom of the coffee shop, he saw his mark.

At a table nearer the back than the front, sits a thin man checking email on his phone. He was a tall man, though you couldn't tell with him seated. His eyes were blue, and his hair once a chestnut brown had begun to fade in to the chalky grey of middle age. As the first man drew near, he put down his phone and stood to greet him with a warm shimmering smile and a hearty handshake. "How's it going? I was just about to order myself some coffee, would you like something?"  "No, I'm ok today, but thanks for the offer."

Not two moments later, the two men were lost in conversation, with the younger gentlemen scribbling copious notes in a moleskin notebook. They bounced from topic to topic with the frequency and velocity of a pinball. What had begun with casual discussions of what was going on in their world, had taken a more serious turn. 

You meet thousands of people throughout the course of your life, however relatively few of them impact you deeply. The ones who do open your eyes, challenge your assumptions, make you think, and shape who you become.

Over the last 30 years there have been several people who have had this type of impact on me but today I'd like to focus on the three who's impact has and continues to be deepest and most transformational.

Jon Flaming - Inspired by the great masters of the brush and lens, Jon lends his immense talents to telling the stories of life, culture and adventure all across this great land we call Texas. The soothing yellows, blues and burnt oranges of the southwest are his pallete, as if you're watching one of his favorite classic westerns starring John Wayne. Not unlike the star of such classic films as The Searchers, this Jon stands tall, walks a straight line and isn't afraid to hang in there for a tough conversation. He humbly serves, encourages and befriends just about everyone he meets. Jon Waid Flaming, is a man quite unlike any other I've had the pleasure of knowing. While not possessing a loud, bombastic personality he garners respect no matter the room he enters.

Matt Hummel - 140 characters. Sometimes that's all it takes. In a world so fast paced and obsessed with reducing everything to the bare minimum 140 characters might be all it takes to change a life. One tweet, that's all it took to connect a young man searching for guidance with a guide to show him the way. After email exchanges and text messages they finally gathered around the kitchen table with Bibles open and pen in hand to read, discuss, learn and grow. In truth it takes a lot more than 140 characters. It takes a willingness to be open, to ask good questions and to guide more than instruct. It takes a man who loves Jesus so deeply that he can't not pour into other men. 

Bobby Crotty - It was a long bus ride headed somewhere new and adventuresome. The seats where cloth and slightly comfortable. Most students sat reading books, flipping through magazines or sleeping. One group of students however, was making the best use of their time. I'm sure they didn't know it at the time, but that long bus ride would have a shaping influence on their lives. Bobby Crotty was among the young students who say enthralled with the wisdom, insights and encouragement of Sally Stout those long hours and it marked him. Fast forward several years and a successful law career, Bobby sits around the table with young men much like himself not too long ago. He opens God's word, asks probing & insightful questions and points them to truth. Now serving as the Men's Equipping Director at a local church, Bobby invests his time in helping men be more like Christ.

While each of these three men is unique and vastly different from the other two, they each share a collection of qualities that I believe have led to their impact not just on my life but countless of others.

Tethered to God's word. The Bible is their guide. These men do not run on feelings, that is to say that the course of their lives is not driven by emotions but by the timeless, unchanging word of God. It is their guide and they have invested some serious time in its study. They are serious about scripture memorization. If there is one thing I've learned over the years, it's that memorizing God's word doesn't happen by accident. It takes diligence and intentionality. These men each display a care and concern for their souls and know that leading others begins with leading themselves, of which time in God's word is tantamount. 

Challenge you to think.  The Lord gave us a brain and these men challenge others to use theirs. Rather than passively riding through life, we each should make use of the brain the good Lord gave us to consider life and all it entails. There are few better ways to engage the mind than by the use of a good, timely question. Questions are the currency of the wise, and these men are wealthy beyond measure. They routinely ask good, tough questions that get the "little grey cells" going.  

Their practice matches their preaching. There is a consistency to their life. They don't say one thing and do another. They live by the very words they encourage others with. This type of consistency only serves to strengthen the power of their words. Character matters and these men have it in spades.

While direct and unafraid to ask the pointed or difficult question, each of these men is humble, tender and kind. These men are not in your face, aggressive, instead these men have cultivated attitudes of genuine humility. They speak with a gentle tone that instantly communicates their care and concern for you. They exude a calm, confidence rooted in their identity in Christ that interjects a humbleness into their life. I may be over using the word humble and its derivatives here, but I can think of no better way to sum up the flavor of their lives.

Nothing impacts your life like the people surrounding you.  It's been said that we are the average of the people we spend the most time with. If that is true, and there is serious evidence to it being so, I leave you with this encouragement, get people like this in your life. If you want any shot of being the man or women you long to be, you'll need men and women in your life who exude these same qualities and spur you on. 

 

Turning 30 Is A Great Time To Pause & Reflect

It's the middle of June, temperatures are steadily on the rise and baseball season has nearly reached the All Star Break. That may sound like the description of your typcial summer and the summer of 2016 is just like every other except for the small caveat that I turn 30 this month.

Turning 30 doesn't come with the pomp of 16, the excitement of 18 or even the buzz of 21. Just about the only major advantages come in the form of insurance breaks. While turning 30 doesn't come with tons of pizazz, it is a fantastic opportunity pause and reflect. 

Over the next several weeks I'll be taking a look back over the people, books, experiences, and places that have impacted, inspired, and shaped who I am today. 

I can't think of a more fitting way to kick off such a series than to tell you about the kind, cheerful and fun loving great aunt who was such a big part of my childhood. 

Mary Sue Ballew was the kind of lady that not only turned heads but had the winning personality to match her breath taking looks. Born the fourth of five daughters to Jewell and Martin, she was a jewel all her own. 

The very first memory that crosses my mind when I think of Sue, has to be spending the night with her as a very young kid. I don’t remember specific occasions, events or activities but simply a peaceful scene. I would often visit Sue her house on the hill. During those summer nights we would sleep with the windows open. My favorite memories consist of laying there in bed late at night listening to the wind blowing, crickets chirping outside the window and critters rustling in the bushes. It was such a peaceful scene that paints many a memory of my childhood. 

Happiness, joy, and cheerfulness encompassed Sue. She lived a remarkable life full of adventures, travel and fun followed where ever she went. Sue was part of that rare bread born knowing how to love people well. It came so easy for her. No matter who you were, she was kind, considerate and intentional. She lovingly served everyone around her with a smile on her face.